Client: V. Rev. Demetri Kantzavelos, Metropolis of Chicago
Air Date: 03/16/05
Station: WKQX - FM Radio
Time: 9:00 AM
Subject: Mancow Bashes Greeks
MANCOW: That's like when you go to Rhodes, as I have been. I've been there,
and the Colossus that stood like with its legs across this ocean, it was, well, one
of the seven wonders, magnificent. It fell and laid there for a couple hundred
years and people just stole chunks of it. They'd carve off a nose, and put it in
their backyard. They'd take a finger.
MANCOW: This thing stood with its legs under, tall mast ships could go
between its legs.
MANCOW: Do you know what's left of it? If you go to Rhodes, do you - and this
is how lazy the Greeks are. Okay? And again, I tell you, the laziest people on
earth, the Greeks. No! I'm telling you. Awful, awful people. But there is a, there is
SIDEKICK: Mm hmm.
MANCOW. American Greeks are hardworking. American Greeks are
hardworking people, and most of them own restaurants.
MANCOW: Some of my - George over at the Palace Grill.
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MANCOW: And it you Iike racist jokes, he'll serve you up one with your ham, egg
and cheese sandwich.
SIDEKICK: Just ask him.
MANCOW: Oh, yeah. He's got the racist jokes.
SIDEKICK: Name any race. He's got 'em.
MANCOW: Oh, they're funny. They're funny.
SIDEKICK: They are really funny.
MANCOW: He tells a joke. You look at your sandwich and go, "God, I hope
there's nobody. Is there anyone else here? Is anyone else here in the restaurant?
Hmm. Where were we? Oh, yeah. So, everyone that had any kind of gumption,
anyone that had any kind of motivation at all got the hell out of that dirt pit. And
all that's left here is a bunch of scammers. They sit around and bitch about the
Turks, and they haven't done anything for thousands of years. “We created
theater." Four thousand years ago! “We had the Colossus." Four thous-
however many thousands of years. And all that's left, if you go to see the
Colossus of Rhodes is a toe, one of the toes, and they have a museum with a
toe. Yeah! That was worth the cruise ship there, you dirty, filthy people. And then
they, and they don't eat the crap they give you. I don't know what's in a gyro, and
they don't eat gyros. That's not Greek.
SIDEKICK: I don't think they do either. Yeah, right.
MANCOW: Oh. it's_
SIDEKICK: Why, when you go to Greece there's not a bunch of gyro spits
MANCOW: It's pig lips and rats, chopped up and put into this giant pressed,
Spam-tike meat that's brown.
SIDEKICK: That's why they break plates.
MANCOW: And they shove it in some crusty bread wanna-be. "Here you go,
tourist!" And the cab, the cab drivers, they're thieving pricks. They'll take every
dime from you. You want to go across the street, you're going to go to Rhodes.
Hell, they'll drive you to Spain and back underwater just to get more money out
of ya. "Oh, hey It's Zorba! Oh, and that's another thing they do, and they do that
at Greek restaurants here in America, too. That pisses me off!
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SIDEKICK: The dollar dance?
MANCOW: No. "Hey! You have some ouzo!" Dah, ta, dah, ta, dah, ta, dah! And
they pour me. “Hey, ouzo my friends! My good friends!" And you know, the guy,
his family's been here for a hundred years. "Hey!" He's some Greek guy, big, fat
guy. "We dance! And the girls and the..." And then you find out, the end of your
bill, they charge you twenty dollars a shot.
SIDEKICK: All those shots. Yep.
MANCOW: Scamming b... ugh. Anyway, there's Muslims more than just
outside of the Mideast.
CALLER - UNRELATED PHONE CALL
MANCOW: I want to talk more about the Greeks and how much they suck.
MUSIC PLAYING - song listing Greek foods.
MANCOW: Except for the American Greeks are great people.
MANCOW: I'm at Santorini's, some big, fat Greek guy is sitting there complaining
about the Turks, how they killed his whole family. I-ley, you going to do anything
about that? You going to do anything about that? Huh? Eh, I'm just going to sit
here in the filth. Hey, maybe you guys could sweep or something. Just a desert
with an old toe sitting there, pillars all dropped over. They haven't done anything
in - ah, anyway!
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