Broadcast
Monitoring
Client: V. Rev. Demetri
Kantzavelos, Metropolis of Chicago
Air Date: 03/16/05
Station: WKQX - FM Radio
Time: 9:00 AM
Program: Mancow
Subject: Mancow Bashes Greeks
MANCOW: That's like when you go to Rhodes, as I
have been. I've been there,
and the Colossus that stood like with
its legs across this ocean, it was, well, one
of the seven wonders, magnificent. It
fell and laid there for a couple hundred
years and people just stole chunks of
it. They'd carve off a nose, and put it in
their backyard. They'd take a finger.
SIDEKICK: Yeah?
MANCOW: This thing stood with its legs under,
tall mast ships could go
between its legs.
SIDEKICK: Right
MANCOW: Do you know what's left of it? If you
go to Rhodes, do you - and this
is how lazy the Greeks are. Okay? And
again, I tell you, the laziest people on
earth, the Greeks. No! I'm telling you.
Awful, awful people. But there is a, there is
an exception.
SIDEKICK: Mm hmm.
MANCOW. American Greeks are hardworking.
American Greeks are
hardworking people, and most of them
own restaurants.
SIDEKICK: Yeah.
MANCOW: Some of my - George over at the Palace
Grill.
SIDEKICK: Yes.
Page 1 of 1
MANCOW: And it you Iike racist jokes, he'll
serve you up one with your ham, egg
and cheese sandwich.
SIDEKICK: Just ask him.
MANCOW: Oh, yeah. He's got the racist jokes.
SIDEKICK: Name any race. He's got 'em.
MANCOW: Oh, they're funny. They're funny.
SIDEKICK: They are really funny.
MANCOW: He tells a joke. You look at your
sandwich and go, "God, I hope
there's nobody. Is there anyone else
here? Is anyone else here in the restaurant?
Hmm. Where were we? Oh, yeah. So,
everyone that had any kind of gumption,
anyone that had any kind of motivation
at all got the hell out of that dirt pit. And
all that's left here is a bunch of
scammers. They sit around and bitch about the
Turks, and they haven't done anything
for thousands of years. “We created
theater." Four thousand years ago!
“We had the Colossus." Four thous-
however many thousands of years. And
all that's left, if you go to see the
Colossus of Rhodes is a toe, one of the
toes, and they have a museum with a
toe. Yeah! That was worth the cruise
ship there, you dirty, filthy people. And then
they, and they don't eat the crap they
give you. I don't know what's in a gyro, and
they don't eat gyros. That's not Greek.
SIDEKICK: I don't think they do either. Yeah,
right.
MANCOW: Oh. it's_
SIDEKICK: Why, when you go to Greece there's not
a bunch of gyro spits
going around.
MANCOW: It's pig lips and rats, chopped up and
put into this giant pressed,
Spam-tike meat that's brown.
SIDEKICK: That's why they break plates.
MANCOW: And they shove it in some crusty bread
wanna-be. "Here you go,
tourist!" And the cab, the cab
drivers, they're thieving pricks. They'll take every
dime from you. You want to go across
the street, you're going to go to Rhodes.
Hell, they'll drive you to Spain and
back underwater just to get more money out
of ya. "Oh, hey It's Zorba! Oh, and
that's another thing they do, and they do that
at Greek restaurants here in America,
too. That pisses me off!
Page 2 of 2
SIDEKICK: The dollar dance?
MANCOW: No. "Hey! You have some
ouzo!" Dah, ta, dah, ta, dah, ta, dah! And
they pour me. “Hey, ouzo my friends! My
good friends!" And you know, the guy,
his family's been here for a hundred
years. "Hey!" He's some Greek guy, big, fat
guy. "We dance! And the girls and
the..." And then you find out, the end of your
bill, they charge you twenty dollars a
shot.
SIDEKICK: All those shots. Yep.
MANCOW: Scamming b... ugh. Anyway, there's
Muslims more than just
outside of the Mideast.
CALLER - UNRELATED PHONE CALL
MANCOW: I want to talk more about the Greeks
and how much they suck.
MUSIC PLAYING - song listing
Greek foods.
MANCOW: Except for the American Greeks are
great people.
MUSIC CONTINUES
MANCOW: I'm at Santorini's, some big, fat Greek
guy is sitting there complaining
about the Turks, how they killed his
whole family. I-ley, you going to do anything
about that? You going to do anything
about that? Huh? Eh, I'm just going to sit
here in the filth. Hey, maybe you guys
could sweep or something. Just a desert
with an old toe sitting there, pillars
all dropped over. They haven't done anything
in - ah, anyway!
END
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